Making plans for this year with my friends is going so good. Ladies day on the 5th June and HOLI festival of colours on 12th September, on top of New York and possibly Amsterdam, and a trip to Kent for a few days too. Planning a trip to Bournemouth in March as well :) 

This year suddenly got a whole lot bette

John Lennon said 'how can I go forward when I do not know which way I am facing' and that is the most accurate vision of depression I've ever come across. 

I have been feeling fairly down about myself lately, and I can't explain why or what it is that I've been feeling down about. My mum suggested I have holiday blues but if that's the case I'm having serious withdrawal from Liverpool. It's unlikely to be that. But I don't know why I feel so miserable. And I am. I'm fucking miserable. 

I'm so stupid. I cut myself the other day, for the first time in over a year. And the worst part is I don't even know why I did it. I wasn't even thinking as I cut into my skin, and it wasn't until I'd seen the blood that I realised what I had done. Now I'm wearing long sleeved t-shirts and flinching every time someone comes near to my wrist. I don't know why I did. I'm more messed up than I realised, I guess.