John Lennon said 'how can I go forward when I do not know which way I am facing' and that is the most accurate vision of depression I've ever come across. 

I have been feeling fairly down about myself lately, and I can't explain why or what it is that I've been feeling down about. My mum suggested I have holiday blues but if that's the case I'm having serious withdrawal from Liverpool. It's unlikely to be that. But I don't know why I feel so miserable. And I am. I'm fucking miserable. 

I'm so stupid. I cut myself the other day, for the first time in over a year. And the worst part is I don't even know why I did it. I wasn't even thinking as I cut into my skin, and it wasn't until I'd seen the blood that I realised what I had done. Now I'm wearing long sleeved t-shirts and flinching every time someone comes near to my wrist. I don't know why I did. I'm more messed up than I realised, I guess.